Mendacious McWilch Speaks

Yesterday coaster enthusiast Evan McWilch, 31, claimed to have had his 70,000^th ride on Intamin coaster Superman Escape.

In an exclusive interview, McWilch told AAL: “That’s right; I’ve ridden Superman Escape 70,000 times. It wasn’t easy, but I did it.

“Now, a lot of people are going to call me ‘crazy’, and deny my claims, so let’s just clear a few things up. Yes, I reside in the Lovelyville Mental Hospital as a patient, but the doctor says I’m improving, and I might be allowed to leave sometime in the next decade.
Secondly, yes, I am legally criminally insane – but I only robbed those 7/11’s for the cash.

“Now that we’ve cleared everything up, I can get back to my story. It was my 20,000,000^th visit to Movie World, and I was feeling rather feisty. Naturally, I sprinted to Superman Escape - knocking over a pram and an elderly woman in the process. I was the first one in line, of course.
In order to get in the maximum number of rides, I encouraged the lethargic ride-op by screaming insults at her. Being my 60,997^th ride, I only had to ride three times to reach the 70,000 milestone. When I did, at exactly 10:19 that morning, I was greeted in the gift-shop with champagne and a gold-plated plaque. It was the greatest day of my life.”

After an intense interrogation session, however, the coaster enthusiast changed his story. “Ok, fine, I fabricated the entire chronicle,” said the enthusiast, who has earned himself the nickname ‘Mendacious McWilch’ on online message boards. “The story was actually based on a dream I had, to tell the truth. Do you still want to interview me?”

Being a slow-news day, AAL graciously accepted the offer of an interview, but were interrupted by a phone call from McWilch’s asylum that informed us that he had escaped, and was a wanted psychopath.