Zencoaster Owner in Custody

In a late-night raid, last night Zencoaster webmaster Tim Patritzia was arrested, in claims the website was seriously involved in a breach of the human rights act.

Line 42, on page 837 of the act states: no human being shall be subject to viewing that horrible hippy-style font, found on Zencoaster.com, no matter what the circumstances.

The horrendousness of the font, which is overshadowed only by the webmaster’s choice of colour, has caused hundreds of heart attacks on unsuspecting enthusiasts. Hospitalised coaster-fan Henry Yorke commented: “I thought I’d check it out; you know, see what was going on with Zencoaster. When the page loaded, I was kind of shocked, and I felt a tingle in my left arm. Few minutes later, I’m sitting in the back of an ambulance. Man, that font was bad.”

Enthusiasts nationwide have been pleading to the webmaster of the upcoming site to replace the font: “For the love of God, change it,” said one enthusiast. “All we’re asking for is that the font is changed, the sooner the better. It really is dreadful”

Webmaster Patritzia will appear in court tomorrow, and, if found guilty, will be subject to the death penalty.