ACL Derails

Up-and-coming Australian coaster club ACL has hit a snag, says owner Gregory Warrenson. “The f*cking government says we can’t serve beer to under 18’s. What fun is a coaster club if the members aren’t fuelled by alcohol? We’re looking at making the club exclusive to people over 18, but doing that would have repercussions. I mean; the member numbers would drop intensely".

The issue comes as a shock to many enthusiasts who were looking forward to the complimentary food and beer the club was planning to offer. Enthusiast John from Coomera commented: “Well, I was kind of looking forward to eating all that food, and drinking all that beer, but what can you do? I guess I’ll just have to put up with the Sizzler”.

After falling into the Dolphin enclosure at Sea World, a very much drunk Warrenson added: “Beer majk funjy izt awaytez”. Warrenson was then escorted out of the park by uniformed security guards.

Unfortunately, Mr Warrenson was later arrested for public drunkenness and possession of illegal narcotics. Stay tuned for further updates regarding Warrenson’s imprisonment.