Saucy Shirt Troubles Enthusiast

In what has been described as a ‘loss of terrific proportion’ and the ‘most shocking thing to happen this week’, coaster enthusiast James Gasnier yesterday spilt tomato flavoured sauce on his favourite coaster shirt, said sources.

The incident, which occurred at approximately 13:40, was sparked by a faulty Four'N Twenty meat pie, said witnesses. “It kind of fell apart in his hands, leaving sauce all over his shirt,” said onlooker Shelly Sullivan.

The garment, believed to carry the logo of Intamin Accelerator coaster Superman Escape, was reportedly in good health yesterday morning. “You want to know about my son’s shirt? Umm...James wore it out this morning; I haven’t been in contact with him since,” commented James’ mother, who wanted to remain anonymous. “Who the f*ck cares if he spilt some sauce on it? Bloody psychos,” added the lackadaisical mother.

The incident has friends of Gasnier worried. “He has an un-healthy obsession with coasters. He’ll probably cry for a few hours when he realises what he’s done, and not leave his bedroom for a few weeks,” said therapist Michael Quill. “I guess it is kind of pathetic for a 29 year old to live with his parents and spend all his time looking at pictures of coasters on the internet, but what can you do”?

AAL attempted to get in contact with Gasnier via telephone, blackberry, SMS and e-mail, but attempts were unsuccessful.