SP To Replace GD

Gold-Coast theme-park Dreamworld yesterday announced plans to replace their record-breaking Intamin drop-tower ‘Giant Drop’ with a smaller and tamer version of the ride, in an effort to draw more families into the park.

Dreamworld purchased the drop-tower from ill-fated theme park Wonderland Sydney upon its demise, and have kept it in storage up until now.

“The Giant Drop is great,” said Dreamworld CEO Steven Gregg. “But it’s a little intimidating for families, and that’s why we’re replacing it with ‘The Not-So-Giant Drop’. The Not-So-Giant Drop, or ‘NSGD’, as I like to call it, will be around half the size of the current ride, which will make it much more appealing to families.”

At yesterday’s press conference, Gregg also announced his plans for the Tower of Terror attraction. “Yep, we’re ripping that one down as well,” said Gregg. “We’re going to replace it with an educational ride which will be based around the Australian legal system. It’s called ‘Trial and Error’. The kids will love it.”

Unfortunately, theme-park enthusiasts from around the country aren’t happy about Gregg’s new ‘families first’ initiative.

“What the f*ck’s wrong with that d*ckhead,” said distressed coaster enthusiast John Farrell (known as oMfGz_cOaStAz_RoX on message boards). “They can’t bloody rip down GD and ToT - we’ll hold a protest, that’s what we’ll do, and if that bloody Gregg still wants to rip down my Giant Drop, I’ll shoot the bastard.” Farrell then stormed out of his apartment while attempting to feed bullets into his .22.