Enthusiast returns 172 page-long guest satisfaction form

Coaster enthusiast Evan Churchson today returned his completed guest satisfaction form to Gold Coast theme park Dreamworld, after spending the last 2 weeks filling it in. The enthusiast, who has been described as "lonely and pedantic" by family members, detailed his experience at the park, declaring it "about as fun as root canal".

The enthusiast mailed the completed form to Dreamworld via Express Post, saying "the sooner Dreamworld get it, the better".

"Dreamworld are lucky to have someone like me come in and critique the park," he said arrogantly. "Otherwise how would they know what they're doing wrong? I mean, the place is a mess - rude staff, broken down attractions, trash everywhere, high prices, poor themeing, lame Flowrider and, to top it all off, there's no B&M!"

After posting his completed form on the Roller-Coaster.com.au forums, Churchson was unforgivingly flamed by Dreamworld fanboys.
"Who does he think he is?" said user dreamworld_rulz. "Dreamworld is the best god-damned theme park in the universe, they do everything right! How dare he speak ill of them.

"Movie World sucks," he added.

Churchson will return to Dreamworld next year, where he will fully evaluate and monitor the parks progress.