Monday, October 02, 2006

Blue Lagoon Attraction Revealed

Today Dreamworld CEO Steven Gregg revealed the parks’ plans for the Blue Lagoon site.

Gregg said the space would be used for a ‘world class’ attraction, which would cater for the thrill-seeker market.

“The wait is over,” announced Gregg. “December will see Dreamworld opening their most breathtaking ride ever. The unprecedented attraction will cater for the thrill-seeker market, and will almost certainly draw international visitors to the park.”

After a long pause, Gregg then revealed the manufacturer and model of the attraction. “The ride will be manufactured by Chance Rides, and will be the praised ‘Zipper’ model. The ride is not only incredibly safe, but can be easily transported, if need be.

“Now, this is the beautiful part. We got the ride super cheap because there were a few fatalities on it back in 77’. But not to worry, all the safety issues have been resolved, and now it’s as safe as ever.”

A representative from Australian Amusement Dealers, the firm who sold the ride to Dreamworld, called the ride a ‘death-trap’ and said they were happy to have finally got rid of it. “We’ve had that one for decades,” said the spokesperson. “That thing is dangerous, more so than the other Zippers. It really isn’t safe for operation. Luckily, Dreamworld told us they were just going to be using it for spare parts.”

As expected, theme park fans from around Australia are lamenting at Greggs’ announcement. “This is so disappointing,” said Dreamworld fanboy Terry Jones. “That rusty Zipper is about as safe as the Beaconsfield mine!”

Updates on the construction of the ride can be viewed at www.awesomeaustralianthemeparkpicturesincludingbutnot-
limitedtodreamworldseaworldmovieworldandwetnwild.com.au

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