Enthusiast Turns To Ride Op For Advice

Today theme park aficionado and ardent fan of Sea World’s Corkscrew roller coaster, Luke Gilmore, turned to the ride-op of the Bermuda Triangle attraction for medical advice regarding a large ulcer which has formed on his foot.

The enthusiast, who is referred to as ‘Luggy’ on message boards, said he didn’t consider visiting a general practitioner for counsel because it was “more convenient” to just “talk about it with a ride-op”.

“I’m not made of money, you know,” said Gilmore, whilst frantically scratching his inflamed foot. “Doctors think they can charge anything these days, and I’ll be buggered if I’m going to pay $60 just to have some asshole doctor look at me foot.

“I was going to Sea World today anyway,” added the enthusiast. “So I decided I’d find a ride op that looked smart, and see if he or she could help me. Anyway, I found this hot one called Belinda, and, after I kindly told her about my problem, she basically told me to piss off. These people get paid to serve me - the customer; they can’t refuse me service. I paid my admission, I deserved medical advice!”

The aforementioned ride-op - Belinda, said she was initially frightened by Gilmore’s rancid smell and dirty clothing, but told AAL that she still managed to handle the situation in a “professional and respectful” manner.

“I kindly informed him that we’re not trained to treat foot infections,” she said. “But he wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. He kept going on about how he’s paid his admission, and that he deserves to be treated. I calmly phoned security, and he was removed from the park. Rumour has it he’s been arrested or admitted to some sort of asylum or something.”

It was later revealed by Gold Coast Police that Gilmore had been in possession 2.4kgs of Cocaine at the time of his ejection from the park. A police representative told AAL “(Gilmore)’s going away for a long time.”

According to trusted sources, the enthusiast’s last words before his incarceration were: “Can I get Roller-Coaster.com.au in here?”

No statement has been released by Sea World.