Tonight On 'When Communities Go Bad'

Sometimes it can be hard to keep up with the hundreds of n00bish threads that are posted on online message boards every year. Ben Roach reports on some of the best ones of the last decade...

Ugh, it’s that time of year again. It’s that time when all the quiet, socially rejected, and, probably, sexually inept coaster enthusiasts clean the empty pizza boxes and drained coke cans off their computer desks and get together to have, in what some would regard, an online ‘spoon-fest’.

The so-called ‘spoon-fest’ involves member’s ‘secret ride-operator contacts’ telling them about the latest 2006 major 400ft, vertical, jumping-giraffe, waffle-making, something-or-other attraction making their way to our Gold Coaster theme-parks (or Jamberoo, if you’re one of those ‘wish I was an actual theme park enthusiast’ enthusiasts).

“It’s confirmed,” remarked one of Roller-Coaster.com.au’s most esteemed members, regarding Dreamworld’s next big thrill ride. “The name of the ride is the Slingshot, and is the next generation in thrill!

"The Slingshot is two 200m high steel poles...Hanging in between is a three-person gondola on massive 'electro-cord' bungee ropes.” Now, while some members belonging to the site’s somewhat controversial forums seem skeptical of the ride looming over the park’s wildlife area, we must keep in mind that Dreamworld are building it because “well, firstly, because Dreamworld can.” Pretty convincing argument.

We all thought Kyle was definitely on to something when he had the entire community spellbound over the park’s big “logistically impossible” feat of engineering, but then he goes on to say that ‘YourWorld’, Macquarie Leisure’s second (second?) theme park is going to be built just down the road at Southport? Ahh, see, now I know for ‘sure’ that that water-park being built next door to Dreamworld is being built by Movie World! Just because Dreamworld whipped your butts when you got Superman, a $12 million roller coaster, and they got Wiggles World, a ‘few million dollar’ corny kid’s area. Sore losers.

However, I can never forget a classic story that always seems to circulate around even after the thread is long, long dead. And closed. It’s always something that “people have been sayin’ round Brisbane” that just must make the idea of “tearing down the thunderbolt and rebuilding it in the type of tracks the cyclone” so obviously, obviously true. And hey, let’s go all the way and make sure we call it something cool. How about “The Hurricane”, those geek-ass enthusiasts will buy that!

Kids, just this year, let me ask Santa not for a gun, but for some serious thrill rides. Sure, Movie World’s new ‘Batwing Spaceshot’ ride will be a great addition, but let’s just keep those shields up, Scotty.