R-C Announces Purchase of ‘N00b Filter’

A representative from popular coaster site Roller-Coaster.com.au today publicized the site’s plans to purchase a state-of-the-art ‘N00b filter’, which would filter out all of the website’s n00bs, trolls and threadjackers.

“As you all know, Roller-Coaster.com.au is home to a large amount of n00bs and trolls,” said the spokesperson. “But now, the same company who brought you the PaperBurner forum system brings you the ‘N00b Filter 2000’! The N00b Filter 2000 automatically detects and erases n00bish posts, and subsequently, bans the person who posted it.”

The system utilises new anti-n00b technology from Silicon Valley-based Company ‘N00bitzer Industries’. A representative from the company said the new software was remarkably popular, and a key weapon in ‘the war against n00bs’.

“Our new software really works on the premise that people are absolutely sick of these f*cking n00bs,” said N00bitzer Industries CEO Lee Clarke. “With the success of the N00b Filter 2000, N00bitzer Industries will continue to focus on the anti-n00b market in the future.”

Much debate has arisen over the announcement, with the majority of the site’s 13 year old users protesting the decision.

Blayden_079, a Roller-Coaster.com.au member, said the decision was ‘terible’ and ‘rly stoopid’.

“I cnt believe there doin this,” said the 13 year old. “Me n all the uther n00bs who cnt spel wont have newhere 2 spam. Where wil we go wen we wanna tlk about impotent stuff liek farting in que lines? I wonder if we can join ozcoater or frillhistory?”

The N00b Filter 2000 will be implemented into the Roller-Coaster.com.au forums as of November, or 'N00bvember', as Roller-Coaster.com.au staff are calling it, in light of the new system.