Enthusiast Receives SMS, Celebrates

When coaster enthusiast Braden Packer received a text message on his mobile phone last night, his brothers, sisters and parents alike were all shocked. Packer, 19, says the message signifies the progressive awakening of his social life, and is “extremely happy” to have finally received his first SMS.

“When I got my phone two years ago, I thought I would be getting messages all the time,” told an over-excited Packer. “You know - from my friends and all. It was about a year ago when I actually grasped the fact that I don’t have any friends to receive messages from”.

But Packer’s unfortunate streak of cellular desolation ended last night, when he was the proud recipient of his first ever text message.

“I was just so excited when I heard that message tone beep for the first time - that is, besides the times I would play the message tone myself in the ringtone menu. In fact, I was so excited that I ran down to my local McDonalds and celebrated with an M&Ms McFlurry, before jumping onto the forums and telling my coaster buddies the news. How cool am I?”

Packer’s parents were also shocked at the news that their aberrant son has received an SMS. Said Packer’s father: “It’s pretty f*ckin’ amazing isn’t it? I mean, that someone would want to send a message to a p*ssy arsed loser like Braden. I just hope he doesn't reply to that f*ckin’ SMS; I’m stuck with the bill.”

Unfortunately, no one has had the courage to inform Packer that the message is from mobile service provider Telstra and is intended to notify him of the fact that he’s exceeded his monthly cap due to excessive mobile pornography downloads.