DreamNova Update!

Sorry, we got nothin'.

Fanatic Becomes Confused

Roller-Coaster.com.au user PattieBoi suffered a severe case of Wonderland withdrawal syndrome (WWS) after he made a 're-creation' of the infamous park on popular computer game Roller Coaster Tycoon. His re-creation, however, failed to be anything like Wonderland, with the only similarity being that there is a pirate ship located beside a lake.

Dr Jonathan Lovegrove, a clinical psychiatrist at Sydney's Westmead Hospital today told AAL that he is finally seeing a decrease in cases of WWS. "When the park closed we saw a dramatic increase in the number of cases," he said. "But over time, there has been a steady decrease with the occasional spike in numbers. We have had some very severe cases, including several which have required extended stays in padded cells." 

- - BN

Zencoaster Spreading The Word

Zencoaster webmaster Tony Teulan has recently announced plans to start taking over the Internet. His first two victims (sorry, clients) are Blue Fire Grill and Blue Fire Cruises. While Tony himself was not available for comment when contacted, spokesperson Timothy O'Toole has told us that he expected a lot of purple and green to be incorporated into the new designs. Unfortunately for Blue Fire, their website won't be ready until the next ice age. 

- - BN

Hackers Wanted!

138.130.225.186 is the IP address of the loser who keeps spamming our comments! Now we have to enable comment moderation! We openly condone the hacking of his computer! By the way, he's from Brisbane.

Remember, 138.130.225.186...Hack away!

Net User Mistakes Zencoaster For Gay Rights, Porn Site

Theme-parks were the last thing on Jeremy Versaille's mind last night, but when a simple search landed him at Zencoaster.com, that's exactly what he found.

The 27 year old interior designer was using search engine Google to search for 'gay rights', and was surprised when the search engine's 'I'm Feeling Lucky' button took him to Zencoaster.com.

Sarah Fischer, a representative from Google, said the mixup was due to an internal error. "Our new search algorithm is groundbreaking, in that instead of searching for just keywords, it analyses the physical characteristics of a website," she said. "So when Mr. Versaille searched for 'gay rights', Google comprehensively searched the web for websites containing large amounts of the colour purple. It just so happened that Zencoaster had the most!"

Although the situation has been explained to him multiple times, Versaille still seems confused. "I just wanted the gay rights website," he said in an exclusive interview. "At first, I thought Zencoaster was a bi-porno site because of their slogan: 'The best of both worlds in one place'. Then I saw the other slogan, 'Why dream when you can enjoy waking nirvana', which only backed up this supposition. I mean, what the hell kind of theme-park fan-site would use those as slogans? I don't know what to think anymore."

In other news, today Zencoaster webmaster Timothy O' Toole announced plans to open a new adult-entertainent sector due to "unprecedented demand".  

2007: What A Year!

Let's have a look at some predictions of what theme parks and fan sites are going to do this year.

Seaworld - Much to the chagrin of theme-park fans, will finally remove all rides and become a zoo.

Movie World - Won't be doing much as they spent all their money on Batwing and Superman. Chance of new LED on car 6 of the Scooby-Doo Spooky Coaster - topic will procure 6 pages of discussion on Roller-Coaster.com.au.

Wet 'n' Wild - Will be forced by the state government to make the water in the wave pool available to be processed for human consumption due to the water shortage in South East Queensland. Nervous 6 year old will defecate in wave pool.

Dreamworld - Will do whatever Wet 'n' Wild do this year. Also, in a bid to save money, will halve the amount of electricity allocated to Tower of Terror attraction. Consequently, the car's maximum speed will drop to 60KM/H, rendering the 115m tower useless.

Luna Park Melbourne and Sydney - Who cares.

Wonderland - Will continue it's multi-million dollar redevelopment with a large amount of buildings, roads and footpaths to be built at a cost of several million dollars. Whilst this development will benefit local businesses, the developer and workers, it has little to no advantage to theme park fanatics who still believe the park has some life in it yet.

Adventure Land - Where?

Dreamnova.com (aka Roller-coaster.net.au) - Will continue to "develop" the best website ever seen by humanity. Unfortunately, by the time it opens every other website will have the same 'technology'.

Roller-coaster.com.au - Long standing forum members will continue to attack newbies who have been disadvantaged by the lack of English being taught at schools these days.

Thrillhistory.com - Will achieve a record number of forum posts, 34.

Zencoaster.com - Will follow the teachings of Buddha and attempt to reach a state of nirvana. Achieving this however requires the site to open, so, like the transition of a roshi monk to shifu the achievement of nirvana will take many life times.

Aussieparks.com - Will continue to "acquire" unsuccessful theme park websites with Zencoaster looking like the next likely candidate.  

Ozcoaster.net - See Roller-Coaster.com.au.

ThrillHistory Announces New Policy Promise

In a statement released today, ThrillHistory owner Paul Funnybone responded to claims that the site uses the term "we here at ThrillHistory" too much. In the statement, the webmaster vowed to quit use of the term under a new 'policy promise', and also revealed plans to "think of a new annoying thing to say".

Lately, we here at ThrillHistory have been receiving a large number of e-mails (4) regarding our alleged overuse of the term "we here at ThrillHistory". As of today, we here at ThrillHistory are promising to stop using the phrase, permanently.

Paul Funnybone, ThrillHistory's owner, manager and sandwich maker said that while his use of the term is valid and acceptable, his new years resolution is to stop using it. "Because it's the festive season, and because we care here at Thrillhistory.com, we here at ThrillHistory are delighted to announce our exoneration of the term 'we here at ThrillHistory'," Funnybone said, in a stupefyingly confusing statement. "We here at ThrillHistory firmly believe that the phrase is old and outdated, and we (I) have made it our (my) new years resolution to stop using it. This policy promise will ensure the sanity of ThrillHistory members and guests alike."

Paul also makes the point that without the contribution of our loyal members and, to a lesser extent guests, policy promises like this would not be able to happen.

It is expected that the change in policy will increase ThrillHistory's traffic .02%, raising the average number of weekly hits to 19.